27th January 2015

Yesterday was a public holiday here so Ronald and I took the opportunity to go and visit his old great aunty who he calls Grandmother.  Ronals mum died when he was so young that he doesn't remember her. He had no clue of how she died and he knew he had a younger brother who died as a baby shortly after the mum died. He knew his mum was buried in a field but that they were growing crops over her grave.  He doesn't know who his dad is/was but understands that he is also dead. Not good for a boy here as he has no entitlement to land. So there were questions to be asked.  I also wanted to go and talk to his mum at her grave to say thank you for letting me have her son, to promise her my care and love for him as my own for my life and to give her some lavender from my garden.  It was a very hot day, we took a small car to the trading centre and then walked about 4 miles deep in the bush. My poor skin was sizzling but I made it. I met an uncle who told me he had been in Erute prison for 17 months for domestic violence on wife No 2.  Another daughter sat nursing a bruised eye, done by a stick in her husbands hand. Both due to alcohol.  We found the mums grave, and I spent 10 mins alone there feeling so emotional. Lovely to leave a gift from my garden but there was no cement on the grave.They said it was under the soil but it wasn't my place to scratch around.... next time.  We also saw the grave of the baby but the greatest part was that an aunty had a photo of the whole family at his mum Sarahs burial.  The baby was there in Aunty Agnes arms and his grandmother who he remembers vaguely.  We brought it home and I will copy it and buy him a frame.  An amazing day of revelation.  The relatives said another aunty may know the dads family so a visit planned there in the next few weeks.  Reached home to one of our girls, who has a husband and a baby, who sadly revealed that her husband had brought another woman to her bed.  So counseling, chatting, hugging and giving food was the order of the evening. In a better place today but such is the vulnerabilty of women at the hands of men in this country.